I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
