I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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