Already got asked if we're dating
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
This is the prime rib incident all over again
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
