What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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