I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
