going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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