Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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