I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
What drink are we having for lunch?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
