can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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