Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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