gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
