guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Someone signed my nipple.
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