I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
