Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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