So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
