listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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