I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
