Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
