She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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