similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
COCAINE IS GR8
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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