that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Let's get the cat blown out
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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