I must be too annoying 4 u.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
it's like iHOP with fire
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
