He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
