I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
sex in a hospital.. check
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
