She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
