Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
