everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
