i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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