I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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