i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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