I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
