i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
