I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
