You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
