I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Tell her she can't have a vagina
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
