I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
