Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
