Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
