So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
