Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i think i have two assholes
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
sex in a hospital.. check
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
