The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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