just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
