I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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