I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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