Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
