They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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