I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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