I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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