Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
