dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I can text with my tongue
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
